I heard somewhere recently that ‘Help Me’ is the most vulnerable prayer one might say. Nonetheless, I’m putting out that very prayer. So, please, Help!

But vulnerability is fucking terrifying so let’s start with some satire, shall we?

I had a paradigm shift, and it was exactly what i needed. A year ago this month, I packed my dog, my 3 year old sac of grief and the rest of my sacred things in my lil orange beemer, hit the road and moved to Mexico City. The intention was to build a think tank, in the most scalable and sustainable way. I fled south for freedom like so many of my ancestors because the industry standard level of misery acceptable for tech workers in the United States, was no longer in alignment with my holistic spirit. I needed to elevate my best practices, in order to increase my bandwidth. Finally leaving behind my address in Oakland, crossing the colonially imagined border that separates Mexico from The United States, and staying away from home for the majority of this election year has been a game changer.  More on that later…
Hueristic Instruments, h.i, the think tank I’ve been building with Ro (are0h of pv), is all about disruptive innovation. And not just the Silicon Valley lip service kind. My cofounder and I have built a data driven, community managed accountability infrastructure for decentralized social media. Next on the roadmap are tools that will future proof the way humans engage the internet-with a bias towards centering the safety, consent, and autonomy of the most marginalized folks over stakeholder management. My specific work for h.i takes a deep dive into steward ownership, starting with Nonprofit formation, touches base with the community that has helped us crowdfund $20,000, and requires constant experimentation with alternative revenue streams so that we can apply actionable insights from h.i’s initial projects, in order to have the capacity to tap into new verticals and create a robust framework that reflects the communities creating the ways to actualize for the liberation we The People of Fantasia Barrino’s internet desire/deserve/have thus been materially denied.

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 I need more resources. If you’ve got enough to give, please do so HERE.

I ask this of you while I quiver with fear of how it, I, will be perceived. But in All the Black Girls are Activists, author/poet EbonyJanice gives me language and courage through the demeanor of a shared mighty ancestor. In describing her experience of Toni Morrison from an interview she did in the 80’s, EbonyJanice writes “The Seat of Toni- the soft place from which Toni Morrison fully seated in her self, stayed ready to tell hard truths, while remaining regulated in her nervous system.” 

 In that interview, Queen mother Toni sat across from an old white guy talking head that spoke with authority and credibility as one of the most popular instruments of empire at that time. It is with that same dignity and surety of purpose opposite institution, that i hope to one day soon, be standing on a stage telling an audience stretching across time, from chair, to tablet, to smartphone screen about the Free Open Source Software projects h.i has built for your child’s classroom discussion board, LaRussel, the Internet Archive and you.

Today is not that day. Today, I’m writing from the buy now, pay later seat i purchased on a flight from San Francisco to back to Mexico City. I nearly missed this flight because, despite seeing my new medi-cal funded Primary Care Physician in San Leandro this passed Monday, the refill of the psych medications that I’ve been out of for two weeks and came home to get, was not sent to my pharmacy in time for me to return to mi departamento with what I need to mask and function productively in pursuit of my lofty goals.

I was flustered from running to catch my flight and somehow left my hotspot at the gate at sfo, have officially maxed out all my credit cards and just barely have enough Uber credits to make it home from the airport. And those are just my black middle class issues for today. Tomorrow, I still don’t have meds, and will be crossing fingers and toes in the hopes that my 2023 tax return gets accepted so I can keep a roof over Woo and my head (off my meds, so getting them submitted at the very last minute on 10/15/24 was actually a huge success).

But the road ahead is clear for h.i! We’ve got one hell of an advisor that I can’t wait to tell y’all about. We’ve got a project contracted out which gives Ro the capacity to be a human and celebrate his recently acquired temporary Residency in Mexico (viva!🇲🇽) and in partnership with that advisor I mentioned, I’ll be hosting an event series soon! Check out Ro’s blog and the h.i site to learn more about what we’ve been up to over the past year. 

I know I’m connected to some amazing, talented, resilient, reliable, justice minded individuals. I know some of the folks I’m connected to don’t share the same radical politic, or intersectional identities I carry with me. But what we all have in common, by being alive in these very revolutionary times, is a shared sense of urgency. There are no heroes coming to save us- we’ve got no choice but to do the things that need to be done ourselves, and that’s what I’m attempting in my own way. I am putting out this call because I believe in people. I hope folks believe in me back. If you do, give, boost this lil sliver of vulnerability far and wide, connect me with me on the decentralized socials or on IG @alchemalysa. But most of all, make it rain on me like you're the rich auntie at the Nigerian wedding.